One of the most important aspects of dating an Amish person is tradition. Dating someone who is Amish comes with both pros and cons that aren’t available to those who are non-Amish. The number of Amish people merely keeps expanding quickly. The church’s capacity to encourage marriages among the faithful is mainly responsible for this growth. Amish dating traditions are vital to the community’s existence and expansion. The Amish have created practices from the beginning to preserve the church. They have succeeded in maintaining their identity in a constantly changing world. Amish last names are an excellent example of the Amish’s desire to preserve their heritage. The Amish have a specific naming system based on family lineage.
The Meeting
At events like visits, frolics, and church, the Amish mingle with one another. The older kids staying late to mix and match makes sense because everyone attends church every other week. Traditionally, Amish courtship starts when a boy is 16 years old, and a girl is between 14 and 15 years old. You need to go where the action is if you want to meet someone to date.
As a result, Amish children gather for Sunday night, singing on Sunday evening at the same home where church service was performed earlier in the day. Sunday night singing is not intended to be a form of worship. Compared to the slowly repeated songs of the morning church session, the pieces of praise are quicker and more upbeat.
The young people sat across from one another at a big table. Between songs, there is plenty of opportunity for conversation and interaction. The singing continues until just before 10:00.
After singing, the group will stay around for another hour or so while the single boys and girls assess each other as potential spouses.
Dating Customs
In Amish wooing, if a couple clicks, the boy will offer to drive the girl home. They’ll visit inside. They’ll have solitude because everyone will be asleep. They may spend all night chatting. The boy pushes his buggy home early in the morning. If both agree, they commit.
Amish worship alternate weekends. When there’s no church on Saturday, they go out. They can meet weekly. Each party can end the relationship at any time. Like in the real world, finding a lifelong partner can take time.
Traditional Amish couples date traditionally. Dates and hot cocoa or Coke are in their buggy. They enjoy the group and outdoor activities with their parents. Progressive couples may spend the evening in the city. They may eat or just converse. The bravest teams may dress in English costumes, hop in a car, and drive to an exotic party.
What is Bed Courtship Tradition?
The boy asks the girl to come home to Amish communities that allow bed courtship. If she agrees, they visit her. They immediately go upstairs, get into her bed fully clothed, and talk all night without touching. Ultraconservative churches use bed courtship. Parents use church teachings to stop hanky-panky.
Bundling is sleeping in the same bed with someone when both are fully dressed. Bundling is biblical. It’s not Amish. Immigrants brought the custom from Europe to the American colonies.
Bed courting was once about comfort. When homes had fireplaces and hardwood furniture, the bed was the warmest, most comfortable place to socialize. Bundling faded (almost entirely) as fireplaces, and hard wooden chairs were replaced with central heating and comfortable sitting rooms.
Wedding Traditions
Newly engaged couples may not tell their parents until July or August. The family keeps the engagement secret until the October church service. You can tell which family are expecting a wedding if they paint their houses or plant a lot of celery to decorate the tables and cook soup for the meal. Amish marriages take place on Tuesdays and Thursdays in November and December. Larger towns and those not driven by the agricultural calendar may have spring and summer weddings.
Wednesdays, Fridays? Wedding preparations and cleanup take a day. Saturday or Monday wedding setup or cleaning is sacrilege. Amish brides make their wedding and bridesmaids’ clothes (known as newehockers). Her outfit is mostly blue or purple. This was Sunday church wear after the wedding. The wedding is from 8:30-3:30. During worship, the bishop pulls the couple aside. He gives advice, lessons, and his blessing. They exchange vows after the wedding.
After a prayer, the wedding party and guests return to the bride’s home. 200-500 relatives, acquaintances, and coworkers attend Amish weddings. The guests’ horses are taken after by friends and family of the bride and groom, who also usher and clean. Roast, “Amish Casserole” (chicken and stuffing casserole), mashed potatoes, creamed celery, coleslaw, applesauce, buns, pears, doughnuts, and pies. Amish weddings involve visiting, games, and relatives.
The Amish couple’s wedding will not include a honeymoon, unlike many non-Amish nuptials. Instead, they will assist in cleaning up after the wedding the next day. They will spend the ensuing few months residing with the bride’s parents until they are prepared to start their own home.
Family Life
In the Amish culture, the family is the center of the community and an integral social unit. Amish people place a high priority on family time and their relationships with one another. Together, they manage family enterprises, share meals, attend church, hold barn-raisings, and participate in other community events. An Amish family will typically have between seven and ten kids. Young children are frequently spotted picking corn, assisting at market kiosks, or taking care of animals. Amish families live as a unit and instill a strong work ethic in their children from an early age.
Each family is honored to possess a particular last name, which carries centuries’ worth of stories. Some famous Amish last names are Stoltzfus, Yoder, Schwartz, and Troyer.
With senior family members, the commitment to the family endures. Young Amish admire the experience of older Amish, and several generations often coexist in one household to care for elderly relatives or assist in raising young ones. These sizable, multigenerational family units strengthen and develop the extended family, which benefits the community.
The Legacy Goes On
Baptized membership is required for marriage in the Amish church. The Amish believe baptism in the church is necessary for union between spouses. Because Amish society is so tightly controlled, allowing mixed marriages would put that society in danger. Between the ages of 18 and 22, most Amish teenagers are baptized, and then they are most likely to get married. If the conditions are right, a non-Amish person may join the Amish to wed an Amish person. Converts are accepted by the Amish, though they don’t typically invite people to join or spread their faith.